im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
