i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
