I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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