She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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