Heybabeimwearingurpanties
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
