your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize