So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
