Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
