laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
