It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize