Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I wish i was in the wii world.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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