If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
