he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
