and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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