ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize