Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
