Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i barfeds in our rink
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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