Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
