Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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