it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
