so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
