Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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