Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
