I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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