Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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