arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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