do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
