I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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