Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
whose parrot is this?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
