You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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