fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
