when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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