Will you blow on my dice?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
