No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Randomize
