If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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