So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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