My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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