Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You ruined the universe
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
