Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
