wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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