Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Help. Why am I so naked?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
