He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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