YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
