New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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