I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
