The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize