she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
