I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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