belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
