so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
