I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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