Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
