I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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