My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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