It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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