if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
