do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
