The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize