I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You were trust falling into bushes
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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