i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize