can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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