ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Come see our sink grown plant.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
